So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
