he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
