Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
