he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
