She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
