Will you blow on my dice?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize