i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
this just has baby written all over it
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I got her a Nickelback box set.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
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His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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