Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize