I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.