I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
