Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
