Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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