I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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