As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
