shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
