Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
