Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Drake has all the answers
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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