So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
