Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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