just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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