That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
