Pappa wants mamma naked
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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