This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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