You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
