I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
They have beer where we have blood.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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