yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
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We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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