i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
