It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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