Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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