he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
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Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
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Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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