It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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