i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
