New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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