Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
