Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
