I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
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what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
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She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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