You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
