I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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