If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
