Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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