Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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