My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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