Sponge bath it is.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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