I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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