Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize