I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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