So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize