p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
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I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
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How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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