Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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