I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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