I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I am midnight drunk by noon
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
