The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
