just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
