You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
