we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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