someone owes me an orgasm
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
There r osticjed everywhere
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
