just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time